A note from the Sculptors to the Painters

Why cant the English language be more vowel-rich, like Hawaiian  or maybe Tagalog, which seem to have evolved from something like song. English sounds as if it came from people who spent their centuries muttering surly pinched consonants.

Just look at the word SCULPTURE for instance. Another one of those consonant-laden, vowel-starved words. Obviously evolved from the struggle inherent in the ponderous effort to defeat gravity. Then, the years of practise to learn to pronounce it. Never mind spelling it. And your fingers will always stumble over it, at the keyboard. Auto-correct was invented as a bypass for just such awkward finger work.

Starts off weirdly enough, with that hissing S, brought up short against the hard C. There C looks passive enough, but sounds like an annoyed K, standing sharply, hands on hips.

The real problem is that wad of consonants in the middle though. LPT. Try pronouncing that, even with meagre help from the U’s. It sounds like choking, or vomiting.

This stack of angular consonants is held up by these two ineffectual U’s. Borrowed from their natural habitat in quiet words like murmur. The U at its best has never been one of those exuberant singing vowels.

The RE is just an attempt to wind things up peaceably. I suppose they re just trying to make something passable out of it. But it comes off as an apology what you’ve been forced to go through already to get to this point…

Dear painting/drawing/sketching artists,

See what we are up against?

Yours truly, 

the sculptors


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